batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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