Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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