sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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