he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
