you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
