My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
