In the future we'll all be gay
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
