there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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