I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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