I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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