Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
