areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
