ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This is classic penis vs brain.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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