I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
