I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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