Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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