Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
