hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Who died my cat blue again?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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