I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
