remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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