I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
