I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize