sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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