i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
