Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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