I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
