he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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