shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
