So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
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He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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