end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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