you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The air taste purple.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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