I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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