dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
