I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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