He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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