During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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