Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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