Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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