porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
