Jerry, you need to find god
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
