I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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