Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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