I should be sponsored by Trojan
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
