I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
