Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
