i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have fence marks all over my body
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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