Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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