i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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