Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
