So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
