She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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