look no pants
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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