So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
