OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
