There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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