just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
