The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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