Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
