i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I feel like death gave me a hand job
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
