i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
