You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
