Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
