your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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