quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
