I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
