The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
