I'm going to jail i love you
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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