Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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