I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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